Monthly Archives: September 2009

Jazzy

Apparently Eileen got the short straw when they assigned musical instruments at school. She named her bass Jazzy. Because Jazzy is the same size as a coffin, I can’t carpool with anyone. So, I haul Jazzy to and fro the middle school for orchestra, battling punks twice my size texting their brains out while I am trying to enter the door. Often I made snotty comments like, “EXCUSE ME, giant turtle coming through. Can’t you see me?” that mortify my daughter.

Hot cross buns, anyone?

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Rabies

Today Aidan insisted that he couldn’t go to school because his hamster bit his hand and that he couldn’t write. Problem is that the rodent bit Aidan’s left hand and he’s a righty. “But I write with BOTH hands!!!!!!!!” he cried.

Then he threw a Hail Mary at drop-off with the old “my stomach hurts” story.

I *heart* first grade.

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Highway to Hell

‎”Oh great, something else to waste my day!” Aidan’s satanic reaction to starting Religious Ed classes.

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Wardrobe Change

Just got a call from school: Eileen fell into the toilet.

Yep, she didn’t notice that the seat was up from being cleaned and created her own bidet.

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Deep Thoughts

Aidan loudly tooting in the shower this morning: “It’s a good combo — farting with soap in your butt.”

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