In my family, you were funny if you got a sibling to spew milk out their nose at the dinner table. All five kids have big noses, so it made the whole shoot-out that much more spectacular.  It was an extra bonus if someone’s nose milk landed on your brussel sprouts so you were exempt from eating them. (Whenever my dad needs a laugh, he just pulls out my freshman picture out of his wallet. 29 years and it never gets old!)

After all of that practice to out-milk-snot each other, I have traded any pride and dignity to sharing some “Are you frickin’ kidding me?” stories that happen quite often in my life. (The storytelling must be the Irish in me. The Polish gene of cooking and cleaning completely skipped my DNA pool.)  There’s plenty of material from my seemly mundane life in the burbs. Married to my old man for 14 years. Daughter (10). Son (8).  Part-time copywriter with a vocabulary that peaked at the third-grade level. (Although, many of my words are not appropriate for 3rd graders.) Blessed with girlfriends who keep me sane and cocktailed.

For some reason, whenever I share one of my anecdotes, I’ve been told that I need to write a book. I think people are just feeling sorry for me and don’t know how else to respond. Or they are just uncomfortable. Case and point: my husband streaking during our block party the first year we moved to the suburbs. Fortunately (?), he was buck-naked while his sidekick had on his “lucky underwear” –– a red satin thong.  Yeah, you should write a book!

Then along came Facebook. While many facebragged about how their kids made the honor roll or won the big game, I was posting about my son’s nervous penis or my daughter’s bra issues. And people said that they were spitting on their computer screens from laughing. It must be a sign that I’ve come full circle!

So I am giving this blog thing a go. If it makes you laugh, share it with your friends. If you hate it, recommend it to those who annoy you, because they are probably my kind of peeps. If I reach enough like-minded, warped people, my goal is to eventually sell ad space to liquor vendors and antidepressant companies, put together a therapy fund for my kids and get a tummy tuck.  (My girlfriend compared my wrinkled, droopy, post-two-kids gut to the boobs on the old lady in Something About Mary. Nice!)

Just be warned that the following information is true. I am just not that clever enough to make this crap up.  (And yes, most will focus on feces!)

Thanks for taking a peek at the freak show~

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me”.
Erma Bombeck


16 responses to “About

  1. Karen,
    after reading this and laughing the whole way through, I had to change Finn’s diaper. In tradition of the Stack family, his diaper (including contents) had to fall from the changing table onto the floor. Of course, it has no ‘this side up’ when it landed. I just want to say thanks for the insight on what is to come.
    Please keep the stories coming, great work.

  2. Marta

    You light up my facebook page :). I laugh every time I remember the hamster story, or the Aidan’s poop story, or your husband’s ordeal with the kidney stone. Thanks for all the great times!. You definitely Rock

  3. Lynette

    This is such great stuff and long overdue! Whenever I need a laugh, I will come here.

  4. Colleen

    HipHipHooray! I am so glad you are doing this!!! Your stories always have me rolling and left saying oh my god! In my book, you’re right up there with Ellen and Lucille(and I’m not talking about Lynette)!

  5. Chris

    put big plastic brown glasses on you, and our freshman year pics are identical. I bow in the presence of that feathering job though.

    the foot-long stent pic? right. I have a twist tie that would’ve sufficed.

  6. Lisa

    I bet you thought you’d have all of this free time now that you finally got this up and running! Now you have to keep it stocked! Good thing you have no shortage of material. Great job!!

  7. Kate

    Are you going to supply the Depends? I’m peeing in my pants this is so funny.

  8. Tara

    I needed a break from my econ class and knew just where to go for a laugh 🙂 Thanks KK!

  9. Chris Erbach

    Excellent blog! Being a story-teller is part of being Irish….You’re kids are gonna cringe at this when they get older. That’s just a bonus.

  10. Lauren

    I love it! Keep them coming! The stories are precious and hilarious at the same time. I know where to come for a quick “pick me up”! Thank you for sharing.

  11. Randy

    Perfection. You’re the definition of a “piece of work” – thank goodness. And Erbach is right: the weirdoes are going to cringe later on…if they’re not cringing now.

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